New Eyes

I remember several years ago, when I first began my weight loss journey, standing in front of my living room mirror berating myself for not being skinny enough. I was relentless. I had no mercy on myself. I told myself that I was "fat, ugly, never good enough, a waste of time, stupid, etc". In that moment of self-degradation, the Lord quietly asked me a simple question that changed not only the way I saw myself but of how God sees me.  He simply asked me, "who are you to contend with your maker?" I was dumbfounded...speechless. In my self loathing attempt to boost my motivation for weight loss, I had failed to realize that I am a reflection of Christ and all that I do either glorifies or minimizes who he is in my life.


Berating myself with degrading words was no different than me hearing those same words as a kid. Isn't it funny how those things come back to haunt us? Unknowingly we participate in the subjugation of our own self worth. Yikes! After much repenting, I had to face the truth that I didn't want to see or couldn't see that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a beautiful masterpiece in God's creation and to see myself as anything less was an insinuation that God had somehow failed in making the woman I had become. Humble pie was on the menu for sure...and I ate a lot of it that day. So, I plumped my newly appreciated body on my couch and cried. To see myself as God saw me was not going to be easy but I at least wanted to try. It all had to start with truth.

See when you believe lies for such a long time you tend to lose the ability to decipher between them and the truth. The truth always dwells between memory and reality. The truth set me free that day. I was free from self-inflicted pain and torment. Truth opened my eyes to a determination to never dance with the devil again.

Fast forward years later and I still struggle with my weight but not from a place of failure or hatred but from a place of responsibility and health. I now see myself as beautiful and loved regardless of the shape my body has taken. I choose to see with new eyes and to leave the negativity in the past...right where it belongs. I choose to take hold of a new perspective and to live my life for the audience of ONE who is well pleased.

I encourage you today to reevaluate those ugly thoughts you have of yourself. Recognize their source and put those lies to rest once and for all and then pick up your pretty head my friend and choose to love yourself...kindly. God is on your side!

In His Love,
LaToya Brown, LMSW